Losing a pet can be devastating — Help is available for grieving owners

Losing a beloved pet can leave a hole in a person's heart, but learning to live with that loss and finding ways to honor an animal's memory can help ease the pain.

That's the message from Patty Hegwood, lead donor strategist for Human Animal Bond at Best Friends Animal Society, who says the grief that follows the death of a pet deserves understanding, patience and support.

Hegwood says the connection between people and their animal companions is often deeper than others realize.

Pets share their owners' everyday lives, providing companionship through good times and bad. Because of that close relationship, losing an animal can be as devastating as losing a person, she said.

"You are spending your entire life with this animal, this companion, and you're taking care of every one of their needs," Hegwood said.

The loss can be especially significant for children, whose first experience with death is often the loss of a family pet.

Hegwood said allowing children to express their sadness and mourn the animal is important because it can help shape how they cope with loss later in life.

People of all ages experience grief differently, and there is no set timetable for healing. Memories that once brought happiness can unexpectedly trigger sadness, even months or years after a pet has died.

Hegwood encourages grieving owners to give themselves permission to experience those emotions rather than feeling they should have moved on by a certain date.

"You don't get over it. You learn to live with it," she said.

Finding supportive friends and family members who understand the depth of the relationship can help. Hegwood also emphasizes that people grieving a pet are not alone and can find resources through Best Friends Animal Society's website.

The organization offers information and support for people dealing with pet loss, along with opportunities to create personalized online memorials and make donations in an animal's memory to help other pets.

Hegwood said finding ways to remain connected to animal welfare can also be part of the healing process. That might mean volunteering at an animal shelter, donating pet food or supplies, or simply spending time with animals awaiting adoption.

After losing her cat O'Malley, who had been part of her life for 22 years, Hegwood visited Best Friends Animal Society's sanctuary and spent time with kittens.

She shared stories about her beloved cat while the kittens climbed around her, an experience she described as rejuvenating.

It allowed her to give affection to other animals without feeling pressured to adopt another pet before she was ready.

Hegwood said some people find comfort in welcoming a new animal into their homes soon after a loss, while others need more time before considering another pet. Neither response is wrong.

The important thing, she said, is to recognize individual needs and allow the grieving process to unfold naturally. For those who are not ready to adopt again, helping animals in other ways can provide a meaningful connection and a sense of purpose.

Ultimately, Hegwood said, people should not feel compelled to close the door on their love for animals simply because losing a companion has been painful.

Giving themselves time, seeking support and finding ways to honor the animal's memory can help them move forward while preserving the bond they shared.

Best Friends Animal Society's pet-loss resources and memorial opportunities are available through the organization's website at BestFriends.org .